Shibari meets Tantra: Un-Shame

A day about the part of yourself you have always hidden, and about what happens when you stop hiding it.

Shame may be the quietest prison there is. It keeps you small without anyone seeing it. It whispers that your desires are too much, too dark, too strange.

Un-Shame turns that around. Inspired by the thinking behind Existential Kink we look at what happens when you embrace exactly that part of yourself you have always hidden. By embodying it. By putting it on, by playing, by dancing. By daring.

Where existential kink and heart meet

What is holding you back from being fully yourself?

A blindfolded participant during an Un-Shame day with rope — Blindfolded, a great deal of the being-watched falls away.

What we do that day

Working blindfolded. With your eyes covered a great deal of the being-watched falls away, and a great deal of the shame with it. What stays is what your body knows.
Tantric dance. A fixed part of the day, blindfolded, where you move without an audience.
Rope as an invitation. Ties that hold you while something in you opens.
Receiving a no. We practise asking, and we practise hearing a no without taking it personally. That is the exercise most people remember longest.
Sharing circles. Room to say out loud what came up, in a group that went through the same day.

About the no

I see it happen in every edition. Someone asks, gets a no, and reads it as a verdict on who they are. Later that same day the same person gets a yes from someone else. The no was about that moment, about two nervous systems that did not meet. Learning to feel that difference changes more than any knot.

Who it is for

For anyone who senses that something is being held back, and who is curious about what lives underneath. You do not need experience with rope.

You come on your own or as a pair, both are welcome.
I do not assign partners. The warm-up lets you sense who you feel at ease with.
Some experience with tantra or body work helps, because this day goes deeper than a first introduction.
I guide in Dutch and in English.

Intensity: 🌶️🌶️ level 2

I work with a chilli system that shows what the intensity may be for your nervous system, so that you know beforehand what you are stepping into.

Level 2, the opening. Sensuality is given room. Clothing can come off, always your choice. We work with the flow of desire and intimacy, and you are invited to drop out of your head into your body.

Would you rather meet rope with your clothes on first? Come to the free introduction or to the classes. Those sit at level 1. Read how the chilli system works.

Safety carries everything

We set out consent explicitly at the start, I check in throughout the day, and you may stop at any moment without having to explain yourself. Nothing here works towards pain. Read how I work with safety and consent.

Practical

When. A full day. The dates are in the agenda.
Where. Changing locations in Flanders and the Netherlands.
Booking. Through Hipsy, with the link next to the date.
Bring. Clothing you feel good in, however daring you like, and a dish for the potluck.

Frequently asked questions

Do I need experience with shibari?

No. I explain everything you need on the day. Some experience with tantra or body work does help, because this day goes deeper than a first introduction.

Can I come on my own?

Yes. Many people come alone. I do not assign partners, and the warm-up lets you sense who you feel at ease with.

What if I get a no?

You will practise exactly that. A no here is about that moment, about two nervous systems that did not meet. Learning to feel that difference is part of the day.

Do the clothes stay on?

This day sits at level 2. Sensuality is given room and clothing can come off, always your choice.

Is this a kink party?

No. We work with the thinking behind Existential Kink in a guided setting, with circles, check-ins and aftercare. It is workshop, not party.

Is this a dating event?

No. People do meet each other here, and the day is about the work.